This may help with the show. 2011 Academy Awards Drinking Rules - Esquire

It's a remarkable failure of planning that all of our culture's most alcoholic occasions — the Super Bowl, Thanksgiving, Mardi Gras, the State of the Union — occur on school nights. The Oscars, unfortunately, are no exception. But traditions are traditions. So this Sunday, pre-game like Clooney and brace yourself for a Tinseltown blackout* thanks to the 83rd Academy Awards Drinking Game.

PLUS: More Oscar-Night Advice on Eat Like a Man >>

We don't recommend you mix your spirits, so choose one and stick with it. You may feel more engaged if you pick a poison that corresponds to your favorite Best Picture nominee. If so, please refer to the following guide:

For True Grit: Whiskey.
For The King's Speech: Tokay, claret, tawny port, or Beefeater gin and tonic.
For The Social Network: A growler of John Harvard Ale; dorm-room vodka (the kind that comes in plastic bottles); appletinis.
For The Kids Are All Right: Chardonnay.
For The Fighter: Sam Adams; crack.
For Winter's Bone: Bathtub hooch; meth.
For Black Swan: Vodka tonic and ecstasy.
For Inception: LSD.
For Toy Story 3: White Russian.
For 127 Hours: A Nalgene filled with your own urine.

Have a hearty sip:
Every time Anne Hathaway changes outfits.
Every time James Franco makes you laugh.
Every time the orchestra interrupts the speech of someone you've heard of.
Any time the music doesn't interrupt a winning sound designer or short-doc producer.
For every visible tear in a thank-you speech.
For every thank-you speech that starts with "Wow."
For every red-carpet interviewee who doesn't mention who they're wearing.
Every time the camera cuts to Jack Nicholson.
If the In Memoriam montage snubs one of the following: Irving Kershner, Sally Menke, Gary Coleman.
If the montage includes Corey Haim.

Take a shot:
Every time James Franco changes outfits.
Every time Anne Hathaway makes you laugh.
If Natalie Portman loses.
If Natalie Portman wins.
Any time a winner claims they "didn't prepare."
Before Gwyneth Paltrow performs the song from Country Strong.
If 95-year-old honorary Oscar winner Eli Wallach makes it through the night.
If Gary Busey is allowed on the red carpet.
If Melissa Leo trips Hailee Steinfeld on her way to the stage.

Down the whole bottle:
If Aaron Sorkin doesn't win Best Adapted Screenplay.
If the Wolfman doesn't win Best Makeup.
If Tony Curtis gets snubbed in the In Memoriam montage.
If Betty White somehow makes the cut.
If Scott Rudin and Harvey Weinstein go mano-a-mano.
If Bruce Vilanch unzips himself from head to toe and Banksy pops out.

Smash the bottle over your head and jump out your window into a pile of trash:
If Christian Bale doesn't win Best Supporting Actor.

*Esquire condones neither binge drinking nor excessive use of the word "Tinseltown."

via esquire.com